22 Jun 2023

Dude, Let’s Form a Band: Rock ‘n’ Roll Dreams of So Many 80s Kids

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Lately I have been catching up on several old podcasts on my daily walk/jogs. Many of these are bands talking through “the glory days” of when they formed, how they got their start, what led to their big break (or not in some cases of underground bands). That reminds me so much of all the times I tried to start bands myself. It was kind of a thing for a lot of people back in the day… that is mostly not a thing these days (although some people still get into the whole band thing occasionally). The picture above from March 1989 is the only band I was ever in that got to play some live “concerts” (although I have played many times as part of the worship band at various churches through the years). I am on the red Peavy bass on the left

These “concerts” were actually high school choir recitals, where one of the choir members asked “hey, can I play some rock songs” and then grabbed me because I was the only bass player they knew. I wasn’t in choir – can’t hold a note to save my life. We had a very juvenile band name (Modnoc – condom spelled backwards) and just played some covers. This pic is from our hard rock cover of “Johnny B. Goode.” We came back later in the night to do an instrumental medley of the James Gun/Spyhunter theme, “Wipeout,” and a couple of other tunes. A year later we reunited to cover Guns ‘n’ Roses “Patience” for the 1990 choir recital.

Through the years I tried to form various heavy metal, punk, industrial, alternative rock, you name it bands. Sometimes I almost got a practice or two going. I wrote a ton of bad songs. Two or three that I would still like to record some day like “Burn the Clinic” and “The Rain Falls on Your Parade.” Nowadays people record entire albums by themselves with just a computer, so you never know. I helped start a Collective to promote some friends that were doing the home recording thing (and in hopes that I would pick up some tips from them). I even got to the point that several people were asking me to design cover art for them (I did it for free on the quick, so I was just all they could afford). I now have my own Discogs page even. You can probably find several articles and reviews I have written out there for various indie outlets about underground bands I tried to help promote. But I never formed a successful band. Rock ‘n’ roll dreams of yet another 80s kid crash and burn.

But I remember how huge the whole “dude, let’s form a band!” thing was back in the day. Everyone swore the guitarist in the pic above was “going somewhere” because he had skill. Life took him in other directions than rock ‘n’ roll stardom – I assume he is happy with that, but I don’t really know. So many news specials about up and coming bands back in the day asked the members what they would do if their band never makes it. They always said “there is no plan b” or something like that (almost none of those bands made it). Only a small percentage even got a record deal, and only a small percentage of record deals even produced a minor hit. But media pushed the narrative that if you just tried hard enough, you could make it. The few bands that made it didn’t really try harder than others, and some notable slacker bands also became famous. It was just a combination of luck and knowing the right people. But you see echoes of that attitude being sold today in narratives about grit and bootstraps. It’s probably rightly referred to as toxicity by some now. But for those of us that never sold it all and moved to L.A. or whatever, we can just look back at it with fond nostalgia and a side eye to that old stack of songs we wrote while wondering if we can afford to buy Pro Tools or not.

14 Jul 2022

Summer Television Show Round-Up: Stranger Things, Kenobi, Umbrella Academy, Etc, Etc, Etc

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The past two weeks it seemed like so many shows wrapped up their summer run – and/or I finally watch all of the episodes of the season that got released all at once. I wish I could do a post on each show, but that would then last until the Fall series are finished. So I’ll just try to do an all-encompassing round up. I’ll also try to stay as spoiler-free as possible, but I won’t guarantee it. You have been warned.

Stranger Things: 80s nostalgia is huge in television (and movies) the past few years, and many credit Stranger Things with fueling the recent surge. Some people think the show got “too big for its britches” as it went along, or became too afraid to kill off main characters… but that is kind of what I love about it. Those two aspects are so… 80s. Obviously, the last season hinted that Hopper would live, and spoiler alert (unless you have watched almost any of the trailers) – he did. Others have complained that Hopper’s story line is a distraction, a sign of lazy writing, or whatever. But again – that is what makes this show such a tribute to the 80s. Shows in the 80s went to weird lengths to NOT kill off beloved characters. Plus, the narrative for the show really, really needed the responsible adults away from the danger in order to work. Anyways, you have probably heard the resurgence of Kate Bush and Metallica due to this season, and its true that two songs become characters of their own at various points. Also, why is no body talking about the fact that they created a high school metalhead Dungeons & Dragons loving character and made him look and act a lot like a young wavy-haired version of Bruce Dickenson of Iron Maiden… and then named him “Eddie”? For those that aren’t aware, “Eddie” is also the name of Iron Maiden’s mascot that is on all of their covers and t-shirts. Anyways, it wasn’t a perfect season, but I loved it.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: There really isn’t a whole lot of 80s nostalgia per se in the Obi-Wan Kenobi series or mini event or whatever it is called. But just by existing it taps into so much nostalgia – most Star Wars fans have been clamoring for a Kenobi-centric movie set in this time period of a galaxy far, far away for quite a while. And yes, they did pull a big bait-and-switch by only featuring a young Luke Skywalker in the trailers and not who the series actually focuses on – but I love that character and the person they picked to play said character (trying not to spoil it in case you haven’t seen it yet). Again, not perfect – but I loved it. The final rematch was epic, the cameos made sense, the redemption arc was fitting, and the way they tied it together to solve some problems with the original movie were a good effort. The original trilogy made Kenobi out to be a bit a of a jerk – lying about some things “from a certain point of view.” The prequel series gave us a really cool uncle-vibe for Kenobi… while making the original trilogy Kenobi even more of jerk. The Kenobi series kind of smooths over a lot of that – giving him a reason he said some of the things he said in the original trilogy, while also showing the struggles he had with knowing whether or not to tell people the full story… because the wrong people knowing the full story puts people’s lives in danger in this series. If they can get a second season and drive these points a little deeper – they may just totally redeem some of Kenobi’s questionable choices in the original series. Maybe.

The Umbrella Academy: The Umbrella Academy is so weird – and I love it. You can always count on some 80s tune to make an appearance in any given season, and this season is no exception. But as with past seasons, they shook things up and did thing differently. Its hard to say much without getting into spoilers, but even the type of apocalypse they face this time is different. And yes, they set-up a very different world at the end of last season – but its even more different than you could imagine. While they handled the Viktor story-line well, it feels like they botched Alison’s story in a few subtle ways. There is a realism to the way she reacted to her personal tragedies (one of the themes throughout this season is how various characters are dealing with the numerous tragedies they have all lived through) – it felt like they took too many shortcuts to get where they took her. But they also threw in a new romance for someone else that developed really fast and somehow didn’t feel forced or shortcut-ed. Go figure. But it was a small gripe in an otherwise entertaining season – and to be honest, pretty much every character snapped at some point in some way, so maybe I am reading too much into it. I have talked with several people that love this show – their brand of quirky weirdness seems to connect with a lot of people out there. Including me. Bring on Season 4!

Start Trek: Strange New Worlds: This series was a pleasant surprise all around: from the surprising way the idea worked in Discovery Season 2, to the surprising speed that they green-lit a series after positive feedback on that season, to the surprisingly entertaining and enjoyable first season they put together. Oh, and how surprisingly well they are integrating this with the original series. A couple of times I realized they were playing out scenes or ideas from the original series, and I swear they were even using music from those original episodes. Some people may like or dislike some of the casting choices for established characters like Spock or Uhura or Nurse Chapel or etc, etc – but they work as a part of this series. Even though the Star Wars series eventually worked out most of the kinks in CGI Luke Skywalker, I think Star Trek went the smart route of casting new people in those roles. Or just having certain characters talk off screen (be on the look out for a Scotty cameo – you might miss it if you only pay attention to the on screen character).

Ms. Marvel: This series is probably the least nostalgia-based series on the list – but it has been such a fun series to watch. I didn’t know a whole lot about the character coming into the series, so the fact that they changed her origin story wasn’t a deal breaker for me. Kamala’s powers are still a bit ill-defined now because of that – and the writers have almost gotten close to the “making up new powers to defeat bigger villains” problem that the CW super hero shows too often rely on – but they have always pulled back so far. And well – that awesome X-Men hint in there? Maybe they didn’t change her powers after all? They are trying new things with super hero stories and it is working out well so far. The way they pulled it together at the end and avoided super hero story cliches about how friends and family react to finding out about super powers was so great. Loved the first season. And that mid-credits scene after the last episode? Near perfection.

The Boys: I know some people have actually stopped watching this series because they went so extreme this season. I have powered through it even though I have seen too many things that I can’t unsee now. If you want to miss some of the wildness of the season, you can probably skip to the last episode and pretty much still follow what has happened. This was supposed to be their “scorched earth” season – and it really was. And the acting and writing were great – they just could have just left a lot more to the imagination for some people. But would it really be The Boys if they did?

The Flash / Superman & Lois: I have been a big fan of The Flash in the past, but it has gone downhill over the past few seasons. This season was… confusing. It was hard to follow all the new rules for all the forces they came up with, and then Flash somehow magically knew he could have new powers to save the day. I think. It was very confusing. They have probably gone on for too many seasons, forcing the writers to come up with wilder and wilder ideas to not just use another speedster villain. But it was still hard to follow. And all of the set-up for “Green Diggle Lantern” turned out to be a big nothing. Sorry for the direct spoiler, but what a waste of time that thread was. Superman & Lois does have a bit more room to tell some more stories, and they had a mostly good season. Superman also magically discovered new powers that he used to save the day and re-write reality with very little practice – so that was weird. And they also dove into one of my biggest pet peeves in Superhero shows: tell your friend that you are a superhero and they get… mad at you for not telling them earlier? No. Usually the more realistic response would be “Oh ^%$# Oh ^%$# Oh ^%$# you are Superman!?!?! Thank you for telling me!” Maybe the anger will come at realizing how much danger you are now in for knowing. But this whole thing of people getting mad for half a season or more at not being told “the truth” earlier? So annoying. At least they only had it last a few episodes in Superman & Lois.

28 Jan 2022

Wild Water Coaster: Two Slides in the Middle of Nowhere

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One of the things about growing up in Central Texas was that the cities there weren’t large enough to be considered “big,” but not rural enough to be considered “country.” Well, plenty of the smaller towns (like where I grew up) are country, but the main cities like Waco, Temple, and Belton are a bit too big to be “rural.” What that meant was that there were just enough people for someone to say “we need to come up with some entertainment options,” but not enough people around to get something like a Six Flags park going.

Today, of course, it is a different story – entertainment options are everywhere. But in the 1970s and 80s (and even into the 90s and 2000s), there were many attempts to start something – most without the kind of interest and financial backing needed to get very far.

One of the odder ones was Wild Water Coaster – basically two water slides on a hill in the middle of nowhere. What you see in the picture above was all there was. And if the hill looks newly-constructed… that is because it was. They literally scooped a huge mound out of the surrounding dirt and put two water slides on it some time in 1978 or 1979. Two names have been associated with the park by former employees are Andy Hill and Jack Matthews (from Oklahoma). But who they are? Not sure. They apparently had some money to burn on a weird experiment.

This experiment was built along the frontage road of IH-35 in a suburb of Waco called Hewitt. Nowadays, Hewitt has a lot going on. In the late 70s and early 80s, the frontage of I-35 in Hewitt was barren. It was mostly a few billboards and the occasional small gas station for miles. Across the highway were two cemeteries. They literally built this water slide park in the middle of nowhere. And many people in the Waco area still have no idea it existed to this day.

I remember going to it several times as a kid. I thought it was only open one summer, but many people remember it lasting two or three years. But what I remember was that there was a higher and lower slide, and the higher slide was killer on your back because of a sudden drop-off. I think you can see the sudden drop-off on the right side of the photo above about 2/3 of the way up and 2/3 of the way over. So I stuck with the lower option. But like many people, I remember having a blast there as a kid.

However, not everyone has great memories. Apparently this park was not built with safety in mind. People remember how the relaxed oversight led to many broken teeth and noses from people running into each other. There were multiple reports of people getting impetigo from going there too often. At one point, someone went over the edge of the slide and got hurt badly. They had to add a tunnel on the corner where he went over – you  can see it in center top of the picture above. But then the tunnel caused people to turn upside down, leaving some of them confused and nearly drowning in the pool at the bottom.

Looking at this now, you have to believe that the owners had plans to expand the park into a lot more. There were no restaurants, no shops, nothing at all around it. But in town was Waco Lion’s Park, where there was not only a double water slide tower, but a large pool, a train, tennis courts, Putt-Putt Golf, and most importantly… food (both an on-grounds burger place famous for good, cheap burgers as well as local restaurants right down the road). Why travel out to the boonies to hit two slides when you could drive across town (or even down the road) to a full blown park? Some people remember that there was a Putt-Putt golf course added the second year, but I don’t really remember that. But it would make sense to try and expand this 15 minute distraction into an actual… destination.

However, it just didn’t last long and by 1980 or 81 the slides suddenly closed. Some say the owners skipped town, others say they filed for bankruptcy. Employees just recall showing up for work one day to a closed park and no final paychecks.

The remains of the park stayed on the hill for years. I remember riding the school bus past them day in and day out as they slowly feel apart. After a few years, someone removed a lot of the park, but a few pieces of the slide were left for some reason. Then the hill was partially dug away – flatted slightly. Who knows how many years or decades later it was finally smoothed out completely. In recent years, Hewitt has started growing and there are, ironically, a ton of restaurants and shops where the park used to be. It probably sat where the Walmart gas pumps or Atwoods parking lot is now.

For decades, most of us forgot about the park altogether, until some Waco nostalgia groups popped up on Facebook. Even still, few of us could remember it’s name. To most of us, it was just “the water slides on 35.” Some people even thought they were closer to a town called Lorena (there could have been some slides down there that I have never heard of, but I am sure these were in Hewitt). The consensus (of two people that could remember) was that it was called “Wild Water Coaster.” Which is so cheesy it’s kind of awesome. But it is also one of many examples of how “entertainment” in smaller towns also came in smaller packages that often were less safe for people than they should have been. I mean… water slides had existed for a long time before this. Designing safe ones should have been a formula by this time.

Or maybe they were, but it was a formula that only the bigger cities could afford?

The kid in me remembers the fun. The adult in me looks at the picture and thinks: that was it? Nothing to do while you weren’t sliding (or weren’t sliding at all), and very little shelter from the Texas sun? Ouch

19 Sep 2021

Craig of the Creek and The Field Behind My House

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So… I don’t know how many of you out there watch modern cartoons. Even if you have kids, you might not watch what they watch beyond the casual first look to see if you think it is okay for your kids. For those that do watch, you might have noticed that modern cartoons are – all over the place. From the rather tame Disney cartoons to the really wild and different ones like The Amazing World of Gumball – there certainly is a range of experiences and styles that didn’t really exist back in the day. Sometimes it is excellent, other times… it isn’t.

I do actually like to watch cartoons with my son. One cartoon that caught my eye is Craig of the Creek. As Wikipedia puts it:

“In the fictional suburban Baltimore/DC area town of Herkleton, Maryland, a boy named Craig Williams and his two friends, Kelsey Pokoly and John Paul “J.P.” Mercer, have their many adventures in the titular creek, described as a kid utopia of untamed wilderness in which tribes of children reign over tree forts and dirt bike ramps.”

But – its a lot more than that. These “tribes” take on all kinds of personalities – from fantasy to futuristic to animalistic to you name it. Kids play different roles, like a trading post owner, a horse, a map maker, a knight, and so on. Kids can live out whatever role they want – and all of the kids are in on the role play.

The show makes clear that this is all role play – in one episode one of the children calls a creek-wide game of “the ground (floor) is lava” and you see several kids immediately “dying” in the lava… but several quick cuts always show that they are safe on the ground and just pretending.

 

I don’t know who all works on this show, but it’s like they put some many 80s kids’ dream life into cartoon form. So many of us dreamed of living near a creek or other nature area that we could play fantasy games in. I was lucky enough to move next to one in elementary school. We just called it “The Field.” Several of us would romp around that creek area talking about plans to build forts, secret hideouts, and an entire society just like they created in Craig of the Creek. What ultimately thwarted those plans was that we lived in a rural area, and there weren’t enough kids to make our ideas a reality.

But that didn’t stop us from dragging all kinds of wood and junk back there to start forts, island hideouts, and other areas. Where I live, there are certain weeds that grow up straight to at least 7-8 feet tall, forming pretty stiff, staff like husks when they die. They aren’t bamboo, but kind of a close version. They were an endless source of swords, staffs, walking sticks, and magic wands. If we found a patch that grew up around a tree – that soon became a protective maze around our new tree house hideaway.

And yes, there was an actual creek there – it served as our “main route,” our way to find what we needed in the field. We knew where the cliffs, islands, big trees, large ditches, and so on were all along that creek.

There were also weird things that happened back there, too. Once we walked through a wide ditch/almost ravine to go find a swimming hole we liked. On the way back a few minutes later (the water looked too low – meaning there was a higher chance snakes would be in there), we found a brand new arrow lodged in a tree root where we had walked. It was a modern arrow with a large, sharp, metal arrow head. It look a while to pull it out. Why was this not there before? Who would shoot such a nice arrow and then leave it behind? Had it been aimed at us?

Another time, my brother and I were coming over a ridge in a small area with thin-trunked trees that were densely packed. When we got over the hill and to the edge of the woods, we heard a loud “CRACK!” I saw a tree fall over and the shadow of something running away. We thought it was a cow (there were occasionally cows back there to graze) and I yelled “RUN!” We ran away as fast as we could. A week later we decided to see what happened, so we got as many friends as we could and went to investigate. We found the felled tree. Except… it wasn’t chopped at the base. Someone had stacked several 3 foot long sticks in a circular cone shape around the base, and the tree was broken about 5-6 feet above the ground and had been left leaning over – still barely attached at the break.

The more I thought about it – the more I came to believe that the shadow-y running figure was more like a man standing up. How could a cow break over a tree 5-6 feet up? But then again – who could a human do that as well? The lighting was still good in this forest – so why was he so dark? Was it the way he dressed? Was it a Bigfoot-like creature covered in dark fur? We never found out.

Anyways – one month when I was barely in high school, we got a massive amount of rain. The valley that contain The Field turned into a lake (or more accurately, the lake that was at the end of the creek to the Southeast of our house backed up to way Northwest of our house), and everything was submerged for weeks… maybe even months. Features were washed away, trees and plants died, etc. It was pretty much wiped clean. The farmer that owned the land took advantage of that and started using it more for cattle grazing (I think), and we became teenagers and moved on to other things. But it provided us with years of entertainment – and seeing Craig of the Creek reminds me of many of the dreams we had for that area. Some of which were literal – I had several real dreams at night of how we could build up the area – some were more urban, some were of a San Antonio Riverwalk-like experience, others were more like Craig of the Creek.

Above: My brother, Dad, and me in a buttercup-filled opening in The Field in 1983.
The line of trees behind us is where the creek was.
To the right of the picture is where the mysterious forest of Bigfoot started.
The left side of the picture was the way to The Swimming Hole and Arrow Ravine.
The trees on the right side of the photo are obscuring The Cliff – a cut in the creek that created
a 15-foot cliff, the top of which was a favorite destination because it gave you
great views of The Field. Plus there was a tree there with massive thorns (12″+) we liked to collect.

26 Nov 2020

Just Say No to Wall Paper

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My first encounter with HGTV was a bit of a shock (even though it was a good decade ago). Why are they bringing back the things from the 80s that weren’t a good idea in the first place? Any child of the 80s in America probably remembers their parents spending a lot of time and / or money to decorate their houses in certain ways, only to see them spend a lot more time and / or money removing all of that in the 90s.

Gold hardware? Trust me – don’t go there. It will go out of style again. Fast

White walls and color schemes? It only looks modern” for a little bit?

Wall paper. Ugh, don’t get me started on wall paper.

Except, well… I did get started on wall paper. I remember my parents had a lot of wall paper put up in the kitchen and bathrooms of our ranch house at the beginning of the 1980s. I remember that as a kid I actually liked the wall paper in the hall bathroom. I also remember all the DIY time they spent removing the wall paper in the 90s. To replace it with… faux paint. Well, at least that unfortunate trend is not making a comeback.

Wait, what? I don’t want to know. I DON’T want to know.

Anyways, back to the wall paper I did like as a kid. I remember that it had some cool vintage drawings of huge old sailing ships. I used to love drawing those ships over and over again, sometimes using that bathroom wall paper as a guide. The ships were mixed in with vintage maps of the world that were somewhat – but not fully – accurate. I saw some Fixer Flipper Brothers and Sisters List It show on HGTV that had some sailing ship inspired wall paper and it made me think about that wall paper I loved. So of course, I wondered if I could ever find it online anywhere.

Sure enough, after several dead ends and rabbit trails that shall never be spoken of in public, I did find the exact same pattern we had (on eBay of all places). Just a different color scheme.

Vintage wallpaper with large sailing ships superimposed on old maps

This version has blues and reds, where ours had greens and yellows. And yes, those are just some random “exotic” animals (some not native to the area) added to Africa… just because I guess?

Anyways, needless to say, for the few years that I was into drawing sailing ships, this ship frequently made it into my drawings:

Of course, as a kid they don’t tell you that these ships often carried stolen goods, cultural artifacts, and even people from around the world back to Europe or the U.S. And that even those engaging in legitimate trade were often full of disease and lack of sanitation. We just always thought that ships looked cool, and when you did see them on TV or in the cartoons, they were taking heroes off to some adventure. I probably read C.S. Lewis’ The Voyage of the Dawn Treader a lot during this time as well. So no real deep thoughts here, other than the usual “they didn’t give us the hard truth as kids” point that seems to go along with, well, all of the stuff from our childhood.

And I guess that not all wallpaper (or faux paint for that matter) is bad.

17 Feb 2020

The Cybertronic Spree: What If The Transformers Formed a Geek Culture Tribute Band?

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The Cybertronic Spree

This seems to be a random entry that will actually fit in all three categories of this website: Modern Geekery, Nostalgia Culture, and Not Your Typical Music. The Cybertronic Spree is a band that is currently rocking around North America. Each member dresses as a character from Transformers: The Movie (and not just kind of dresses like characters: they have a Gwar-level dedication to their stage costumes). They cover songs like “Kashmir,” “The Pokemon Theme,” and “Nothin’s Gonna Stand in Our Way” (originally on the Transfomers: The Movie Soundtrack). Their live show moves are a mixture of classic cartoon poses with robots doing the floss, light sabers, and…. Shockwave twerking? Can someone get them to do a better video of their cover of Lion’s “Transformer’s Theme“?

I don’t know if this is Nostaliga Culture run amok or Modern Geekery perfected… or both. Listening to the lyrics of “Nothin’s Gonna Stand in Our Way” now, I am reminded of how so many of us Gen-Xers thought this way: We are the generation! We will fix this world! Nothing will stop us ever! But then we got older and, well, a lot of stuff got in the way. Some of us became the boomers that we swore to rebel against. We are now just as likely the ones saying “kids these days!” as our parents are.

So I try to listen to songs like this just to remind myself that its not too late to go back to this mindset. I just wonder if this group is made up of Gen X or Millennials or both? Anyway, here are two of my favorites by them:

4 Feb 2020

The Matterhorn: A Family Adventure

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The Matterhorn Entertainment Park

I have a vague memory of visiting a restaurant inside of a mountain as a kid. For a while, I thought it might have been some random dream I mistook for reality, but it turns out this was not so. What I remember was driving a long time to a large fake mountain next to the highway, and then eating inside a large area inside of the mountain that had a pool, waterfalls, slides, and divers as part of a show. Also, I remember there were many back rooms, side caves, rooms hanging from the ceiling, and pretty much a maze of hallways to explore.

Sound like a weird kid dream? Turns out, it is real.

After years of searching for more information, I finally found out that this place was real: The Matterhorn. The Matterhorn was a Bavarian-themed amusement park in Prairie Dell, Texas that operated briefly in the early 1980s right off of the I-35 frontage road. I think I only went at night, as I don’t remember the park part. But apparently this park featured a train ride that went through tunnels, carnival rides (such as a tornado), slides, an inside roller coaster, an indoor roller rink, bumper boats, bounce houses, smaller carnival rides, ponies, a merry-go-round, a fake casino, a health spa, large-screen televisions, an arcade, and a dance floor with live bands on the weekends. As one person remembered it: “It was called the Matterhorn, since the main attraction was a huge fake mountain surrounded by Bavarian style shops. The inside had a waterfall and slide, where for a fee you could swim or just dine in the restaurant while watching professional divers. It also boasted of having the world’s largest indoor roller rink.” As you can see in the picture above, this “large fake mountain” was a replica of the Matterhorn itself.

By the way, fans of horror films might also recognize this place, as the park’s ruins were used for scenes in the 1986 movie Texas Chainsaw Massacre II after the park closed.

It seems that at first The Matterhorn was a success, but that changed fast. Apparently it had wonderful steaks and large crowds at first, but a change in management led to it flopping after only a few years. Kids loved it, of course, but apparently since it did not serve alcohol, adults weren’t as keen on making the drive (Prairie Dell is between Salado and Jarrell in Texas – South of Waco and North of Austin by a good drive from either direction).

Inside of the main Matterhorn was a restaurant in a large room with a large lake. This lake had cliffs around it with performers that would dive and slide into the lake for a dinner show. This is the part I remember. I also remember off to the side of the lake was a maze of dark rooms and caves that you probably weren’t supposed to go into at night, as they were usually abandoned. My brother and I would sneak off into these caves and look around. Eventually we found some stairs that went up to some hanging platforms above a large room that I now assume was either the dance floor or the roller rink (or a room that served as both). We thought it was the coolest thing, because it was actually a series of open platforms with bridges between them hanging from the ceiling like a mixture of tree houses and the Ewok village (without the trees).

Later on, the land became the Emerald Lake RV Park. That is now closed and the land seems to be private property.

It turns out that the Matterhorn was not the beginning of the story. The Matterhorn was created by a Temple, Texas restaurant owner that had previously made his Tex-Mex restaurant look like a cave. Basically, they used a paper mâché or blown-on expandable insulation like material to cover the walls and create a maze-like cavern. At one point the walls were even sprayed over with a layer of plaster and finished with sprinkle glitter. The man’s name was Frank Weis, who along with his wife Susie ran this restaurant, called El Chacho.

El Chacho (at the corner of 3rd and French) was described as a labyrinth that you could easily get lost in. There were different rooms, with different themes. Small gift shops were said to be scattered throughout the caves, complete with a man in a tamale costume that would hand out cheap toys. People remember seeing a toy train going through the restaurant as they got lost. One room had a waterfall. They had a wishing well right inside the front door. They even tried some dinner theater where a singer would go around singing to the guests. Sound familiar?

Part of the popularity was due to the food. People remember the sopapillas being “crazy good.” Many also fondly remember the queso. There was even a buffet on the weekend. The owner was famous for serving all-you-can-eat steaks that were cooked outside on pecan wood. Servers would even give you free cheese slices from a block of cheese while you waited for your table.

The other part of the popularity was the owners. Frank and Susie would pull in teenagers and special abilities kids, becoming like substitute parents to many. Frank was said to have big plans for the teens that worked for him. They even took the staff to Monterrey and Saltillo in Mexico as a thank you for their hard work.

However, it was the unique design that eventually closed the restaurant down (but possibly opened the door for the Matterhorn?). The fake walls and ceilings started to fall apart and land on customers. There were said to be lawsuits from this. All of this led to the restaurant caves being declared fire hazards and the restaurant shutting down. The fire department was worried about people getting lost in the case of an emergency, plus all of the candles on tables in rooms with flammable material falling off the walls was a source of concern as well. There is now a Cefco gas station where the restaurant used to be.

I don’t really know if people open roadside places like the Matterhorn any more. I am a bit too young to know much about Route 66, but the Interstate Highway system I traveled on for family vacations in the 70s and 80s still reflected the distinct influence of the Mother Road. There is a lot about the Route 66 days that fascinate me, especially how people would put together a bunch of cement and cheap building materials to make a “roadside attraction.” You can see by the pictures above and below that these were often not high quality attempts by any stretch. Probably not exactly safe, either. Route 66 is not a popular route anymore, and most of its influence has been removed from the interstate highway system to make way for wider, newer roads. My nostalgia definitely makes me remember these places as being cooler and more realistic than they were. I seem to find that a lot as I dig into the past: what seemed so cool as a kid turned out to be cheap plastic and cardboard (or cement and foam). A metaphor for modern life, or just progress at all costs? Hard to say.

The Matterhorn Entertainment Park

31 Dec 2019

Rise of Skywalker: Cash Grab or Nostalgia Trip?

by | posted in: Nostalgia Culture | 0

Let me get this out of the way first and foremost: Every single star Wars film has had it’s haters, since the very first one. You or me not liking The Rise of Skywalker is not proof of anything other than different people can have different opinions. A lot of us hated, hated, hated The Empire Strikes Back when it came out. Then we (yes I am one of those) came around to loving it years and years later. For me, I am still not a fan of the prequels at all. I kind of liked Phantom Menace at first, but got tired of it quickly. By the time Revenge of the Sith rolled around, me and my friends were walking out of the theater making fun of each one.

Star Wars films are always full of problems. But if you let yourself not worry about those problems and just go with the narrative, sometimes (but not always) you can at least be entertained. Until you start thinking about the problems.

But on the other hand, you or I or anyone else liking The Rise of Skywalker is not really proof of anything, either.

For me, some Star Wars films (like A New Hope, The Last Jedi, and Rogue One) I liked in theater, and as I watched them several more times I liked them even more. Others (like Return of the Jedi, Solo, and The Force Awakens) I was entertained by them when I watched them, I am still entertained by them now, but I recognize their problems. I already mentioned Empire Strikes Back and The Phantom Menace. Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith are ones that I just could never get into. I tried re-watching them before the sequel trilogy came out, and I still couldn’t.

So where does The Rise of Skywalker fall for me? After only one viewing, I was entertained while still seeing the problems. I will see what further views will lead me to think.

First of all, lets deal with some of the fan weirdness. Star Wars has ALWAYS been about fan service. Yes, even episodes 5 and 6 had a lot of it back in the day. I remember the complaints. It was where I learned what “fan service” means. The prequel trilogy was major fan service by Lucas, until he found out he misunderstood what the fans wanted, and suddenly they became “an artistic risk” or whatever he is currently saying. So just saying “it’s fan service!” kind of makes no sense to me. And not just because Star Wars has always been fan service, but because, well… isn’t that how you get people to watch movies? Give them something they want? Where is this magical line between “creating something people will pay money to see” and “fan service”?

Obviously, that line exists in a different place for different people, between what they personally liked and personally didn’t like.

Another issue to address is this idea that the sequel trilogy was a cash grab after the “perfect ending” of episode 6. Sorry, but we have known that Lucas planned NINE movies from the moment he realized there could be more than one Star Wars. I remember back after Empire came out, Mark Hamill mentioned that Lucas had already talked to him about coming back as an old man Luke in the 9th movie. It was always going to happen. Lucas never envisioned Empire as the end, and no one really saw it as a “perfect” ending anyways.

Yes, I know that everyone saw Palpatine as dead at the end of Return, including Lucas and the actor that played him as well. But don’t forget: Luke was not Leia’s brother at the end of A New Hope, and Darth Vader was not Luke’s father at the end of the first movie either. Things change as new Star Wars movies come out. This is the way.

What I did see was a film that had to deal with wrapping up 10 films, 3 animated series, a bunch of books and comics, and so on. This means there would be huge problems doing all of that in one film. Which was probably the biggest problem many noted with Rise of Skywalker: too much going on in too short of a film.

For me, there are several things I would have changed. The beginning crawl just sounded bad to me. I would have worked more on that in general. There were some weird lines of dialog that just needed to be re-written here and there. Especially the whole meeting between Poe and Zorii Bliss. A lot of that just made no sense. Just cut it down to her pointing a gun at his head, making some faux gestures of being mad, and then pulling a Lando and being glad to see him. That whole “I think you are okay” thing (after nearly killing each other with weapons) was just… weird.

Also, why on earth would you start the whole thing about Finn having something to tell Rey and then not get to having him, you know, actually say what it was? J.J. Abrams has confirmed that Finn was going to tell Rey that he could feel the Force. But if you aren’t going to have him say that, then leave it out. The audience still got Finn’s force connection outside of that trope.

And the whole thing with Palpatine shooting lightning to take down a whole fleet? That was weird. They should have made it look like he was channeling some of the planet’s darkside energy to do that. Or… something. That was just too much of a stretch for me.

But yes, even for me there are several things that just go into the “bad fan service” pile as well, like Chewbacca getting the medal. After we were told things like that don’t matter to Wookies. The whole Charlie Hobbit role was basically a dude voicing fan theories only to get debunked. It really worked well when he shot down fan theories that were shooting down the Holdo Maneuver from The Last Jedi, but I would have honestly re-written his lines better and given them all to Rose.

Then there are those that feel that Rey’s Palpatine connection ruined the message of The Last Jedi because it destroys the idea that greatness can come from anywhere. I get that, and its a real concern to those that saw Rey as the embodiment of “greatness from anywhere.” To me, the boy with the broom at the end of The Last Jedi was more of symbol of that message. There are also the thousands of Jedi of the prequels that also support that idea as well, including Yoda, Mace Windu, and so many others that still had great power in the Force without powerful lineage. That may not be enough for some, but for me it seems to still support the overall idea.

I have a theory that Rian Johnson might have gone kind of rogue with The Last Jedi and left out some ideas that should have been in the movie. I think some of the big reveals in Rise of Skywalker would have paid off more if they had been hinted at in The Last Jedi:

  • Think about how much better it would have been if The Last Jedi had introduced the question of “why did Leia stop her Jedi training?” at the beginning. It would have made the reveal about why in Rise better, and it would have been a better context for the “flying through space before she died” scene in episode 8 as well. We didn’t have enough time with Leia in The Force Awakens to explore this, so The Last Jedi would have been the best place to raise this in a few places.
  • Hints about a mysterious force behind Snoke should have been mentioned in The Last Jedi as well. Again, we didn’t have enough time with Snoke in episode 7 to do this, but 8 would have been a great place for this. Just some hints about older ancient Sith magic pulling the strings in some way. This would have set up Palpatine’s revelation so much better in Rise of Skywalker. Of course, it could be that Maz Kanata was hinting at this in The Force Awakens. Or it could have been that all of the sequels were hinting at it all along.
  • Just one line in The Last Jedi about Rey’s parents could have set things up for episode 9 nicely: after talking about her parents, Kylo Ren says “but you are asking the wrong questions about where you come from” before getting cut off.
  • The Sith fleet was impossibly too big to just come out of nowhere. Someone would have noticed that massive amount of supplies and people going missing. While the fleet should have been smaller to be more realistic, I would have also planted some kind of mention in The Last Jedi about massive amounts of materials disappearing across the galaxy without a trace in The Last Jedi and even The Force Awakens.

So obviously my feelings about The Rise of Skywalker are closer to “its complicated” than outright “I liked it,” but a lot of that comes from nitpicking over details. But it is okay to like something while still thinking of ways to improve it. It seems to me that it also really spent a lot of time setting up future movies (Lando finds out Jannah is his daughter, Rey training a new form of force warriors called Skywalkers, even how Rey’s parents turned against Palpatine), adding to the issue of it being too much for one movie.

To me, what The Rise of Skywalker does is show that nostalgia is not a constant, but a contextual way of evaluating anything that reaches back to something in our past. Reviews of movies like The Rise of Skywalker become problematic, because we are all going to have different contexts for why some things work as callbacks to nostalgia and why other things fall into useless fan service categories. The ideal scenario would be to evaluate it as a stand alone movie, but the idea that episode 9 wraps up the entire Skywalker saga prevents this on many levels. They do reveal the conclusion to many long standing questions, whether we like those reveals or not. They also satisfied the studio’s desire to set up future movies. All of which would have happened had they been put out ten years ago under the direction of George Lucas as well. Except we apparently would have gotten Lucas doubling down on that whole midi-chlorians thing.

In some sense, the sequel trilogy ended up being a rough approximation of what we were always going to get. But it could have been worse. Just imagine what the Jar Jar Binks of a microbiotic Lucas world would be like….

6 Oct 2019

Going Extra Dark With Dark Crystal: The Age of Resistance

by | posted in: Nostalgia Culture | 0

To be honest, I really had not thought much about the Dark Crystal movie since I saw it in the 80s. My brother and I liked it… and were creeped out by it. It really wasn’t a kids movie. The Henson company was convinced that muppets needed an adult image I guess, and they set out to prove they could be more than funny kids props.

Of course, the movie opened the door for thousands of years of history to explore in the Dark Crystal world, and a brave new world of possibilities to think about after the ending. But apparently not enough people were interested in that back in the day to make a sequel or prequel movie. Now with 80s nostalgia culture worship in full swing, it seems like we get the prequel series that not many were asking for? Or maybe many were and I just didn’t know.

I have to admit that I was intrigued by the idea. I am not against re-visiting older properties just for the sake of being against the idea. Sometimes – like in the case of Battlestar Galactica – revisiting older ideas can produce entertaining (even if imperfect) results. But focusing so much on gelflings before the time frame of the movie… knowing that they will pretty much all die? That’s dark, man.

To me, the beginning of the new Netflix series felt like 9.5 hours of “gee, look at the cool puppetry we can make” mixed with a half hour of plot development. Even once the series finally did pull me in and get me interested halfway through, they still needed to cut the character count way down. Just too many plots and creatures to keep track off.

And the darkness just kept getting darker and darker. At one point in the series, I felt that the 10th episode was just going to start off with a black hole mysteriously appearing next to the planet, followed by an hour of all of the characters screaming in agony as they get crushed by it. It was really just that bleak. I had to listen to some bleak black metal just to cheer up my mood.

Will I continue watching the next season when it comes out? I don’t know. I don’t mind dark themes, but I can’t really take as much as they put in this first season. And they didn’t even get to where the movie itself starts, where most of the “good side” in this series is all…. dead. But I will say that the rich mythology they have created for this world is interesting. Sure, it is rather Tolkien-esque in some ways (and hard to track fully without charts handy), but that is not a bad thing.

Even though the creators stuck with puppets and/or people in costumes for a lot of the effects, they did get an upgrade with some CG elements that does help. However, sticking with the puppets at times ends up falling flat, like when they try to show feet running. It looks about like what you would think – stuffed animal feet or paws hitting the ground with all the impact of cotton stuffed fabric, and all of the speed of someone moving those feet with their hands rather than being actual running legs.

So on a nostalgia culture scale between “okay, this works like Battlestar Galactica” to “this is just pure mindless worship like Ready Player One“… I guess Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance falls somewhere in the middle? Either that, or it is just off the scale somewhere in the “you might need counseling to deal with unseeing much of what the Skeksis do.”

Here is the original movie trailer:

And the trailer for the new series:

15 Sep 2019

Knock-Off Mystery Toys From the 80s

by | posted in: Nostalgia Culture | 0

One of the more fascinating aspect of toys the 80s (and I am sure the decades before as well) is the fact that there was an abundance of cheap knock-off toys available everywhere. There was some effort to enforce copyrights on some things, but that really didn’t seem to have much effect until later decades. So your favorite toy you remember fondly might end up being a cheap knock-off of some more famous toy – and now you can’t find much (if any) information on it because it was so unofficial. Sometimes a few rare things will pop-up on blogs like Plaid Stallions, but that is a rare occurrence.

So you also have to wonder about the safety standards of the material used in these toys… especially the bane of all old childhood toys: lead paint. Yay.

While I was fortunate enough to grow up in a family that could afford some of the bigger name Star Wars and Mego toys, I also had many family members that were “thrifty” shoppers – meaning they frequently hit the bargain toy racks at Gibsons, Eckerd Drugstores, and local mom and pop toy stores in the mall. These places were havens for stuff that would never be legally allowed today. And lets be honest – my parents also like to save money on things when the could as well.

One of my favorite toys in Kindergarten was this robot:

So much so that it is one of the few toys I have a picture with. I have cropped this old pic of me down to just the robot, and of course the awesome t-shirt with Spider-man playing football. Obviously, the first guess with this is that it is a Shogun Warrior toy. I have looked through every online collection I can find of Shogun Warrior toys – and can’t find one that looks like this. I have looked through their competitors – nothing. This toy was possibly an unlicensed knock-off. It was all plastic (Shogun toys this size at the time were die-cast metal), but the fists did shoot out… at first (until my parents decided that was too dangerous and they hot-glued them into the arms).

So who knows – maybe someone will see this and be able to tell me where to find more information about this toy?

Update: The mystery seems(?) to be solved – this appears to be a Kidco Space Defender. Although, mine seemed to have a slightly different color scheme (yellow chest plate, blue fists).